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More nonsense from the wonderful world of job hunting! Another in my occasional series of crap job adverts, which are hiding the truth about your prospective employers.

1.) Company confidential: Alarm bells ringing already. Chances are you’ve heard of them (probably from BBC’s Watchdog!) and they don’t want to scare you off.

2.) New start/fresh challenge: Some old bollocks you’d never sanely considered doing!

3.) Need to fill 6 positions IMMEDIATELY: 6 people never showed up for work this morning!

4.) ‘Outbound’ – ‘call centre’ – ‘market our products’: DANGER, DANGER – COLD CALLING ALERT, COLD CALLING ALERT!

5.) Good friendly personality: You must be able to take all manner of abuse from people who didn’t ask you to call them!

6.) Telephone manager to arrange interview: We’re NOT giving you our address…probably because we don’t have a premises!

7.) Self employed position: We take a cut of what you earn, making money off your sweat as you work 60 hours a week to pay your gas bill!

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Oh and just to make super sure you can’t reach us when you don’t get paid – we only use non geographic numbers!

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